and then...

so and then there was a time and a place where i wanted to go back to . . . not that the times are bad now, i mean PTL, i'm so blessed.  blessed with friends i cannot cease  to be thankful enough for, blessed with flexibility and blessed with the very Spirit of God.  What an amazing realization there are times and there are seasons in life, and i'm not quite sure i can put a finger on if i like that fact or not...
you know, i was watching slumdog millionare the other night, and reflecting on how little the majority of the world has, and how even after being in such poor countries, and many desolate lands, i can't help but STILL see people not so much as a life, but more as a number, or a sad face... it's a really discouraging thought... to realize that many of the faces that i walk by i don't look at as living beings....
i'm attempting to be more intentional in my conversations, to realize the heart of people.  to see beyond myself and my circumstances, sometimes it works, other times i get caught up in the everyday life. . . there are places i want to go and lives i want to touch, but is this because i just want to be woven into someone else's story?  i'm not quite sure. 
sometimes still, i get lost in my grandeous thougths of what life would be like if i could plan it out the way i want it, and the sad condition of my heart doesn't make it out to be better for the majority of the world... just those i interact with... so, then i sit here and think... how can i continue to live beyond myself... beyond my joys and my frustrations, and REALLY, TRULY, HONESTLY seek first the kingdom of heaven.