for rent...

The words haunt me, almost feeling like a white flag of surrender . . . its final . . .

I knew it was inevitable, and i knew the day was coming soon. yet, i'm not sure how it still stings. just a little bit you know? Maybe more than a little bit... Things are not the same, they never will be. I know it was a season, and a season that i must move on from at that... but somehow, this feels like a step backwards, like moving out is moving back. . . not that it is in reality, it might be taking a step back to reconsider, isn't this something that we do all the time? sometimes it takes a change in scenery to realize where we are. A change in scenery, a time to prepare for the next steps... whatever that may be. maybe it's the kick in the pants that i need. or maybe it's an utter disgrace to what lose i felt was a great thing... a community, a place to be hospitable, a relationship with neighbors, and a comfort. is that the dangerous word? comfort. if i'm comfortable, why would i want to move on. its a dangerous place to be. . . maybe the reasoning behind why i am where i am today, maybe why i lost it...

In a discussion about family this evening, and again what it means to honor your parents even when you might not completely agree with them, i left wondering what authority and submission look like, wondering what it means to work through issues, to really work through them, not just out of anger or frustration, but really to take a step back, "incarnate" with someone else and just have a transparent heart. and maybe i wonder if this is something i've ever really experienced in a day in and day out... it comes to the question of faithfulness and value. where my values are placed, and are they in a proper place... yes, authority and submission, i have a feeling this is something i'll be exploring a lot more closely these days...

one of my favorite photographers is also a thoughtful guy, this was on his blog...
"So as we get ready for the new year let's commit to letting go of the things we can't control and taking control of the things we can." -david jay.

Amen.