next time...

didn't leave you hanging too long there... did i?
well needless to say, i survived doing nothing, slept... a lot! and didn't get too lonely/bored somehow. Spent some time dreaming, some time in the Word, some time praying, and some time yes, knitting, what a shame that today i had to take it all out and start over, because i left a hole in like the 3rd row.. such is life... so many parallels from this knitting thing.
at one point i totally felt like a grandma, as i was sitting in a rocking chair, with a blanket over my lap, watching a movie and knitting.. LOL!!!! can you picture it?!?!
Today, i drove by the apartment and realized someone else lives there, someone else is now building memories there, and as i look back at the key i still have to open the door, i realize it will never be open to me again.
all this continues to set my head a spinning. . . and i suppose what makes it worse is when i realize that there are problems so big in the world, so much bigger than anything i am a part of and my eyes and my focus is namely on myself, and my short-comings rather than the places where i can be a change for others. . .
perhaps it's that late at night thing... maybe a little bit of self-pity, "we all wanna be loved", ain't that the truth?