An Adventure in denver...

often times we weep over the circumstances in our lives, i however for a moment, wept over my heart and not what happened.  The utter selfishness that resides in me. and the judgment of imperfect human beings, the truth is... we're all imperfect human beings...

This is my second mishap with the Denver international airport.  both times trying to get to philadelphia. . . I think some part of me just wants to go home.  but i don't know where home is... i suppose the only home we will ever have is with the Lord.  But where on earth do i belong?  is it here... in Denver, how did i end up here tonight?!  Such an oddity.  Really.  I'm blessed to have a second home here.  I'm blessed with "family" and friends...

Its inconsistencies in the law... both times.  based on past experience that does it....  You know, "knowing" the right thing, but not DOING it... faithfully, completely.  this is where i am.  I'm such a half hearted, person perhaps.  Caught in my transgression.  They almost called the cops... called the cops!  Because i stood for what i had experienced even 4 hours before as okay... What a half truth.  what a post modern, what's okay for you is what's okay for you and i'll read the law the way i want to...

really, i'm wondering, how often do i live in the letter of the law, the letter that i read the way to please me, rather than the spirit of the law.  it's really the spirit of the law that is more rigid.  more convicting, and deeper. 

So, I got on the plane in Montana today with 3 bags : a camera case, a laptop bag, and a backpack.  when i got to denver, i ate lunch and then waited for my flight.  i was on the phone with a friend, and mildly distracted throughout the boarding process.  i hand the woman my ticket and she says, "you're going to need to check one of those bags" I said, "well, i've carried these on for several flights, including one today, and it's my impression that the baggage regulation allows me to bring a bag of photographic equipment, a laptop, as well as a personal item. and this is what i have done."  needless to say, she didn't like that and asked me to either check or consolidate, and since consolidation wasn't an option she began to fill out a check form.  I asked if she was serious, because i did not want to check my equipment.  she said "yes" i said that i wanted to see the baggage policy... she called some rude manage man over who printed out the policy and pointed out where i was "wrong", the problem is the way it is worded is so vague and poorly written that it can be read either way, i said again "i carried this on for the rest of my trip" she says "well, its a $20,000 fine if i let you carry on that bag and i'm not going to lose my job over it." then the man goes "you have two options, check the bag or stay here in denver" i said "well, i really don't want to check this bag" he got more threatening and intimidating... i asked my self (and my friend if it was worth fighting, the response was no).  but i was already pretty deep into it, i threw in the towel, and along with the towel, was my backpack which i lobbed over the little divider to say, "fine, check it" and apparently, the dude thought i threw it at him.  and he took the authority to revoke my ticket, cancel it, and tell me i was not going home tonight, and certainly not on his airline.  and then, he mentioned, that for that matter, i'd never be able to fly united again...  yes, folks, that's essentially black listed...

it was about the time i threw in the towel/bag that i began to change my heart.  to make the choice to change.  and i suppose it was too late to reap the consequences of the repentance.  for i got the consequences of my actions.  there i was, stuck.  realizing that i have one advocate in heaven.  but alas, maybe i had an advocate on earth too... i called my travel agent, and she tried everything in her power, but she said it was too much, nothing that can be done about the ticket.  around this time i really started to panic... i apologized to the guy and asked if there was anything that could be done, that i was tired and frustrated and just wanted to go home, he basically shrugged his shoulders again, said "not on my airline" and said that if i didn't leave he was going to call the cops.  the travel agent suggested trying to go back one more time, so i did, he basically said "not you again, go away, you have 30 seconds before i call the cops" ... went to customer service 20 minutes later and calmly shared my story the guy was like, ya i know it's documented here... the cops were out looking for you...  i understand if i can't go home on this ticket, or on your airline, i made a mistake and am willing to pay for that, but i'd really like to be able to fly with you again, at least in like a month... his response was, "don't worry you'll be fine in a month, we'll take care of it now" ...

i then spent a few minutes calling around to find a ride and a place to spend the night . . .

the agent had done some searching for flights in the morning and was finding $300+ for one ways home.  praise the Lord, i found a $111 flight on southwest.  what a God send.  so basically i have a $111 night here in denver.   3 conversations for $111 with some amazing friends, and a chance to eat a burrito too... $111 to see grace and love, but justice at the same time.  I didn't get a free ride.  but i am very blessed to not pay the full cost the guy thought he was punishing me with.  my hope is to be obedient with this spontaneous time and flight to follow the Spirit's lead.

i just wanted to go home... i wonder, maybe, i found it here by accident...ya, home in denver, but really home in a Father's chastisement, and care..

my heart aches at this selfishness and anger.  and the bad fruit it brought today.  trying to bend the rules just a little more to my liking.  may my eyes and heart be tuned to righteousness...

Lord, have mercy.